My 13-year-old told me I talk a lot. He said I do not listen to him.
He is right.
Many of our talks turn into disasters. We start with something small, like his phone. We end somewhere much bigger. Voices get loud. Nothing gets fixed.
If you have a teenager, you probably know this exact fight. The one that starts about a screen and ends about respect.
I was trying to win the argument. I should have been trying to keep my son.
That one hurt to admit. It sat in my chest for days.
Here is what I am trying now. Not what worked. I do not know yet if it works. What I am trying.
We are writing a family agreement — together. Not rules I hand down from above. Rules we both shape, side by side.
It covers the phone. It covers chores. And it covers what we do when we disagree — because we will disagree. That part matters more than the rules.
My son has not signed it yet. We are still talking about it. It is an experiment, and he gets a vote. If he does not buy in, it is just another paper from dad.
The agreement is not the hard part. I am the hard part.
Stay with me here. This is the part I am worst at, and it is the part that might matter most.
If this helped you, here's how to go deeper — pick the one that fits you:
"Just give me something I can print."
Some of us don't want another app. You want paper — print it tonight, fill it out with a pen, stick it on the fridge. I make exactly that: printable chore charts, family agreements, and screen-time tools in my Etsy shop.
→ Get the printables on Etsy
"I don't want paper — I want it all in one app."
Then you'll like the membership: assign chores from your phone, your kids check them off, plus our family courses — everything clean and in one place. It's $9.99 a month — less than two cups of coffee — and you can cancel anytime.
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"I'd rather just watch."
New video every week on my YouTube channel — real talk about screens, chores, and staying close to your kids. No perfect families here.
→ Watch Amam The Family Man
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The hardest part for me is the listening part. When he talks, I want to fix it fast. Give the answer. Move on. I am learning to close my mouth and let him finish. (I am still bad at this part.) I am trying anyway.
When I go too far, I apologize to him. I tell him I was wrong. Some dads think that makes them look weak. I think it makes me look honest. My authority did not disappear because I said sorry.
I do not claim to be an expert in parenting. I am a dad of six who is still learning. What I want is to be a father who is willing to improve.
My parents were fighting to keep us alive. I am fighting to keep my children connected. Different fight. Same love.
Parenting is not about perfection. It is about relationship. I am trying to remember that late at night, when the phone is in his hand and my patience is gone.
I will be honest with you: this agreement might not fix our nights. But the fights were not fixing anything either.
He told me I talk too much and I do not listen. He was right about both. So I am working on both.
If you are in the same fight in your house — you are not alone in it.
I wrote about the other half of this problem — when the little time we have goes to fighting: 56% of Working Parents Say They Miss Too Much. I Am One of Them.
— Amam
